Someone posted this on Facebook and I found it entertaining.
[Humor] Kids on Marriage
CLEAN AND STRESS RELIEVING HUMOUR
...
(Written by kids)
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
*********
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
*********
WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
*********
HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
*********
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
*********
WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)
*********
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
*********
WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9
*********
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7 (smart girl) (My personal favorite)
*********
The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
*********
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8
*********
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)
*********
HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T G ET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
*********
And the #1 Favorite is........
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.
-- Ricky, age 10
**********
And now it's back to Charles City to enjoy the Thanksgiving break! I will make sure to post some pictures of the Berry Thanksgiving this weekend.
I hope everyone enjoys the holiday, eats lots of turkey and remembers how much we have to be thankful for.
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Funny Times
As you well know, I am a connoisseur of Get Fuzzy and I have to say that the following comics are amazingly funny. But I think their hilarity level has a lot to do with personal experience; therefore, I shall let you in on the joke. [Click on the picture for a larger, more readable view.]
During spring break there was a conversation that resulting in this quote: "Stop calling me mommy and make me a sandwich."
At the University of Richmond we have a serious lack of diversity and an apparently overwhelming need to talk about it instead of actually doing anything.
"He's not open-minded. He's just a moron." Oh Bucky, how right you are.
During spring break there was a conversation that resulting in this quote: "Stop calling me mommy and make me a sandwich."
At the University of Richmond we have a serious lack of diversity and an apparently overwhelming need to talk about it instead of actually doing anything.
"He's not open-minded. He's just a moron." Oh Bucky, how right you are.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Spring Break-Day 4
Day 4 was a fun day. We didn't really do much but what we did do was fun and exciting. I believe we started the day late as always and proceeded to lay out in the sun and then take a dip in the hot tub. Then there was much running and playing on the swings. Then we went back to the condo and had some amazing chicken cooked by our very own Lexie Homemaker. Then there was driving and singing and dancing in the car and a Sonic run. Then a not-so-scary movie (When a Stranger Calls) and a Wal-Mart run. Yay Wal-Mart at 3am! Then of course we slept.
The end.
Hugs all around!
Lexie Homemaker and her tasty chicken!
I love the swings!
Elizabeth and I on the boardwalk
The boardwalk
"Why can't we have a funeral?" -Steph
The other side of our condos
Playing with the ball in the grass
Sitting on the wall
Steph looking like the girl from the Grudge at Sonic
Steph L. should be a comedian:
"You can squish my bladder, you can squish my ribs but you can't squish my breasts!"
"I can't infect people by myself."
"I only date guys with normal-colored lungs."
"Elizabeth, get a liver."
On that note, Elizabeth has a very nice liver, and a good sense of humor:
"Steph (L.), you're not meant to be in the middle."
Me:
"[Elizabeth] Please don't think about Brad Pitt while you're spooning with me."
The official end.
Stay tuned for more pictures and quotes from Spring Break 2008!
The end.
Hugs all around!
Lexie Homemaker and her tasty chicken!
I love the swings!
Elizabeth and I on the boardwalk
The boardwalk
"Why can't we have a funeral?" -Steph
The other side of our condos
Playing with the ball in the grass
Sitting on the wall
Steph looking like the girl from the Grudge at Sonic
Steph L. should be a comedian:
"You can squish my bladder, you can squish my ribs but you can't squish my breasts!"
"I can't infect people by myself."
"I only date guys with normal-colored lungs."
"Elizabeth, get a liver."
On that note, Elizabeth has a very nice liver, and a good sense of humor:
"Steph (L.), you're not meant to be in the middle."
Me:
"[Elizabeth] Please don't think about Brad Pitt while you're spooning with me."
The official end.
Stay tuned for more pictures and quotes from Spring Break 2008!
Monday, March 10, 2008
Spring Break-Day 2
Yesterday was amazing. I shall tell the story in pictures and funny quotes. And then actually tell the story.
The lake outside our condo with our personal dock.
Steph L., Elizabeth and Lex on the deck
Steph L. and Lex
All of us in the living room
The coolest guitar ever
Elvis is our hero
Only in the South
The Hard Rock Cafe
Sitting in front of a river in Nashville
Printers Alley
Elizabeth and Steph L. in front of the Parthenon
Steph is way too excited about seeing the Parthenon
Frolicking to the Parthenon
More frolicking
More frolicking
The two lovers meet
No Steph, you can't scale the column
Elizabeth and her sister Delia at the Loveless Cafe
Elizabeth and Lex
Trying on Easter hats in Wal-Mart at 3am
Watch out for Steph L.
The end.
All good quotes come from Steph (L.):
"The Abomidable Ho-man!"
"This makes me want to get naked and roll around on the floor."
"'Cause I'm bad."
"Look at the Metopes."
"It's too intellectually loopy."
"I'm a UPPEAH nerd." (Urban Practice and Planning Environment Art History)
"Maybe in a foreign country fresh eggs."
"You break it down very nicely."
"Ooo... Look at that moo moo on him."
"With a wooden spoon that is."
"Tasty times abound."
And the one that took the cake:
"If you had wieners I would smack them all."
Lex is funny:
"You can work out with Richard Simmons."
"He couldn't keep it in his man-skirt."
Elizabeth is a very funny girl:
"They didn't even have pants."
"You are the proboscis monkey to my guerrilla."
Overall the day was again, amazing. We woke up around noon, ate, got ready and headed into Nashville. There we met Elizabeth's older sister, Delia who was totally awesome. We walked around downtown for a bit and then went to the Loveless cafe for dinner where we oddly enough ran into four guys from school. What are the odds that we would see people from Richmond in Nashville at the same restaurant on the outskirts of town at the same time? It was pretty insane.
After we got back to the condo we watched Troy (yay Brad Pitt) and then decided we wanted to go to Wal-Mart. So what if it was three in the morning? We're on Spring Break we can go to Wal-Mart whenever we want! We had some pretty awesome times there. I bought a pretty new sun dress and a cute t-shirt.
Then it was back to the condo for candy and sleep.
Good times.
Stay tuned for more pictures and funny quotes from Spring Break '08!
The lake outside our condo with our personal dock.
Steph L., Elizabeth and Lex on the deck
Steph L. and Lex
All of us in the living room
The coolest guitar ever
Elvis is our hero
Only in the South
The Hard Rock Cafe
Sitting in front of a river in Nashville
Printers Alley
Elizabeth and Steph L. in front of the Parthenon
Steph is way too excited about seeing the Parthenon
Frolicking to the Parthenon
More frolicking
More frolicking
The two lovers meet
No Steph, you can't scale the column
Elizabeth and her sister Delia at the Loveless Cafe
Elizabeth and Lex
Trying on Easter hats in Wal-Mart at 3am
Watch out for Steph L.
The end.
All good quotes come from Steph (L.):
"The Abomidable Ho-man!"
"This makes me want to get naked and roll around on the floor."
"'Cause I'm bad."
"Look at the Metopes."
"It's too intellectually loopy."
"I'm a UPPEAH nerd." (Urban Practice and Planning Environment Art History)
"Maybe in a foreign country fresh eggs."
"You break it down very nicely."
"Ooo... Look at that moo moo on him."
"With a wooden spoon that is."
"Tasty times abound."
And the one that took the cake:
"If you had wieners I would smack them all."
Lex is funny:
"You can work out with Richard Simmons."
"He couldn't keep it in his man-skirt."
Elizabeth is a very funny girl:
"They didn't even have pants."
"You are the proboscis monkey to my guerrilla."
Overall the day was again, amazing. We woke up around noon, ate, got ready and headed into Nashville. There we met Elizabeth's older sister, Delia who was totally awesome. We walked around downtown for a bit and then went to the Loveless cafe for dinner where we oddly enough ran into four guys from school. What are the odds that we would see people from Richmond in Nashville at the same restaurant on the outskirts of town at the same time? It was pretty insane.
After we got back to the condo we watched Troy (yay Brad Pitt) and then decided we wanted to go to Wal-Mart. So what if it was three in the morning? We're on Spring Break we can go to Wal-Mart whenever we want! We had some pretty awesome times there. I bought a pretty new sun dress and a cute t-shirt.
Then it was back to the condo for candy and sleep.
Good times.
Stay tuned for more pictures and funny quotes from Spring Break '08!
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
"The only thing we have to fear...
Jay Leno had elementary school students finish this quote:
"The only thing we have to fear...
is beef."
kids been reading the news
is if the ninjas are coming."
true, definitely scary
is Hillary Clinton."
... I love this kid
Here are some more:
Question asked of students: "What does the president do all day?"
"He fills his bathtub full of money and rolls in it." (I don't know if I quoted that one exactly...)
"He sits in his chair hoping the next election will never come."
Finish this quote:
"The only thing we have to fear...
is Michael Jackson."
I love these little kids, and the Tonight Show with Jay Leno for giving me some awesome things to laugh about.
"The only thing we have to fear...
is beef."
kids been reading the news
is if the ninjas are coming."
true, definitely scary
is Hillary Clinton."
... I love this kid
Here are some more:
Question asked of students: "What does the president do all day?"
"He fills his bathtub full of money and rolls in it." (I don't know if I quoted that one exactly...)
"He sits in his chair hoping the next election will never come."
Finish this quote:
"The only thing we have to fear...
is Michael Jackson."
I love these little kids, and the Tonight Show with Jay Leno for giving me some awesome things to laugh about.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Jouralism Dont's
In the book we're reading for News Writing, Reporting for the Media, the lesson on "Don't Write Like This" had a few examples that I thought were pretty hilarious. These were taken from people's descriptions of their accidents on insurance forms.
"I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it."
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have engine trouble."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the roof of my car."
"To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I hit a pedestrian."
And my personal favorite:
"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him."
"I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it."
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have engine trouble."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the roof of my car."
"To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I hit a pedestrian."
And my personal favorite:
"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him."
Sunday, November 11, 2007
The Off-Off Broadway Musical, Humans!
Click on the image to see it so its readable.
Seriously, it doesn't get much funnier then this. I love Get Fuzzy...
Seriously, it doesn't get much funnier then this. I love Get Fuzzy...
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Quotes and Inside Jokes
I was just looking at Kimi's blog when I noticed the quotes on the right hand side of the screen. I think the other people in the library think I'm crazy since I've been sitting here giggling to myself... Anyway, while in Japan, Kimi, Matt and I along with some others had some seriously funny moments. Most of them are inside jokes now that need some explaining but thats okay because they're hilarious! Kimi liked to write all our quotes down which I now appreciate tremendously.
I miss you guys!
"You have a nice head...cranial structure" -Josh to Kimi in the cafeteria at lunch
"No Quilt, No Life" -Japanese girls t-shirt
"Relationships are so 20th century, prostitution is the future" -Someone wrote that on the board in the cafeteria and it stayed there for quite a while
"Lucky Charms is teaching little kids to steal from Irish midgets. I mean, Irish midgets have feelings too" -Kara, simply Kara
"Japanese cartoons teach loyalty, friendship and all that crap" -Kara, again
"What, are you the only one allowed to make bad jokes?" -Claire Jaqumin, my Greek Mythology teacher in class to one of the other students. Remember she's French so this is with an awesome French accent.
"Let's kick this puppy" -One of my favorite sayings
"Let's blow this popsicle stand" -Another good one
"Ka-blouw" -Josh
"Screw recycling, I hate the environment" -Me. Recycling in Japan is freakin' ridiculous!
"Women shouldn't be doctors" -Josh, he almost died that day...
"National Founding day is a holiday where they find things" -Josh, again
"I've always wanted to be a seeing-eye dog" -Matt while being the beginning of our people train at Hachiko Crossing in Shibuya where roughly 2,500 people cross the street every time the light changes.
"I'M NOT GOING TO DIE IN THIS BUILDING!!" -Matt quoting his boss. Kimi caught this at an excellent moment on video while we were walking across Rainbow Bridge (Odaiba) in the rain
"I'm not a girl" -I'm pretty sure this was Matt
"Al Gore hadn't invented shoes yet" -Matt during a three way AIM conversation
"Be careful. If we don't stop Global Warming Al Gore is going to take back the internet!" -Me in International Politics last semester
"Is Jim the cute one?" -Matt on The Office characters
"Go to Kenya and build jungles" -Josh
"Irish midgets will seek revenge." -Kara
"I love heated seats, they keep my buns toasty" -I don't remember exactly but this was either me or Matt, either way its funny
"Jesus loves France too" -again, I can't remember but its funny. I know it has something to do with Prof. Jaqumin
"My legs might be short but they are brutal" -Sasha
"I don't think I could date a girl with no arms" -Matt
"Sweetie...I'm gay" -Alex
"I don't like listening to music that doesn't pertain to my life. That's why I listen to 50 Cent" -Josh
"If you die there, I think you'll go to hell 'cause you're already halfway there" -All of us about the Oedo train line thats some crazy amount of stories below the ground and most of its stairs.
"It's a national sport in France, Baby!" *whack* -Claire
"Dear God, thank You for this pizza. Bless it to our bodies, if that's possible." -Matt. We were able to get a real American pizza on the Army base. Good times.
"Wow, that's a lot of sheep" [2 seconds] "Wow, that's a lot of sheep" -Kimi and then me. I had a habit of repeating Kimi even when I hadn't heard what she had said.
"What are we murdering?" "A child" -Me then Kimi and Matt. I came into that conversation at a bad time.
"You'd never want to see overweight cheese in a bikini" -Matt while we were observing the lady "cut the cheese" at the Tillamook factory in Oregon.
"Who cares about those other parts of the world, they are inferior" -Matt
And those are just a few of the fun times we had.
Man! I miss you guys!
I miss you guys!
"You have a nice head...cranial structure" -Josh to Kimi in the cafeteria at lunch
"No Quilt, No Life" -Japanese girls t-shirt
"Relationships are so 20th century, prostitution is the future" -Someone wrote that on the board in the cafeteria and it stayed there for quite a while
"Lucky Charms is teaching little kids to steal from Irish midgets. I mean, Irish midgets have feelings too" -Kara, simply Kara
"Japanese cartoons teach loyalty, friendship and all that crap" -Kara, again
"What, are you the only one allowed to make bad jokes?" -Claire Jaqumin, my Greek Mythology teacher in class to one of the other students. Remember she's French so this is with an awesome French accent.
"Let's kick this puppy" -One of my favorite sayings
"Let's blow this popsicle stand" -Another good one
"Ka-blouw" -Josh
"Screw recycling, I hate the environment" -Me. Recycling in Japan is freakin' ridiculous!
"Women shouldn't be doctors" -Josh, he almost died that day...
"National Founding day is a holiday where they find things" -Josh, again
"I've always wanted to be a seeing-eye dog" -Matt while being the beginning of our people train at Hachiko Crossing in Shibuya where roughly 2,500 people cross the street every time the light changes.
"I'M NOT GOING TO DIE IN THIS BUILDING!!" -Matt quoting his boss. Kimi caught this at an excellent moment on video while we were walking across Rainbow Bridge (Odaiba) in the rain
"I'm not a girl" -I'm pretty sure this was Matt
"Al Gore hadn't invented shoes yet" -Matt during a three way AIM conversation
"Be careful. If we don't stop Global Warming Al Gore is going to take back the internet!" -Me in International Politics last semester
"Is Jim the cute one?" -Matt on The Office characters
"Go to Kenya and build jungles" -Josh
"Irish midgets will seek revenge." -Kara
"I love heated seats, they keep my buns toasty" -I don't remember exactly but this was either me or Matt, either way its funny
"Jesus loves France too" -again, I can't remember but its funny. I know it has something to do with Prof. Jaqumin
"My legs might be short but they are brutal" -Sasha
"I don't think I could date a girl with no arms" -Matt
"Sweetie...I'm gay" -Alex
"I don't like listening to music that doesn't pertain to my life. That's why I listen to 50 Cent" -Josh
"If you die there, I think you'll go to hell 'cause you're already halfway there" -All of us about the Oedo train line thats some crazy amount of stories below the ground and most of its stairs.
"It's a national sport in France, Baby!" *whack* -Claire
"Dear God, thank You for this pizza. Bless it to our bodies, if that's possible." -Matt. We were able to get a real American pizza on the Army base. Good times.
"Wow, that's a lot of sheep" [2 seconds] "Wow, that's a lot of sheep" -Kimi and then me. I had a habit of repeating Kimi even when I hadn't heard what she had said.
"What are we murdering?" "A child" -Me then Kimi and Matt. I came into that conversation at a bad time.
"You'd never want to see overweight cheese in a bikini" -Matt while we were observing the lady "cut the cheese" at the Tillamook factory in Oregon.
"Who cares about those other parts of the world, they are inferior" -Matt
And those are just a few of the fun times we had.
Man! I miss you guys!
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Tippy and the Tribble
Curry and I chased around the cat with the Tribble Meagan bought me in Las Vegas. I know its kinda mean, but it was freakin' hilarious! I found this song on You Tube. You can watch the whole thing here if you're a Trekie like me. Yes, it's a real song by a real band that makes CD's based on Star Trek.
Awesomeness.
Awesomeness.
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