In the book we're reading for News Writing, Reporting for the Media, the lesson on "Don't Write Like This" had a few examples that I thought were pretty hilarious. These were taken from people's descriptions of their accidents on insurance forms.
"I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it."
"In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."
"I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have engine trouble."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the roof of my car."
"To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I hit a pedestrian."
And my personal favorite:
"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him."
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